When two becomes one…
My friend Ryan was always vocal about not dating fat girls. Whenever any remotely meaty girl looked over at him, he will shudder dramatically to show how disgusted he was.
The girls would tick him off about his superficialness but nothing we said changed his opinion.
Of course it soon became that he was constantly at the end of jokes like, “Hey! Is that your new girlfriend?” when a big girl walked into the room.
One night at the club I was having a good time dancing when suddenly a t-shirt flew into my face. When we turned to see who the culprit was, we had the shock of our lives. Mr Fat-Phobia was dancing (he probably thought sexily) with a girl about twice his size.
In his excitement he had stripped off his top and swung it cowboy-style. He was obviously sloshed. We all stopped dead right then and stared, mouths dropping open at this unusual sight.
I saw that the whole pub had the same reaction and it was as silent as a ghost town in there. Even the deejay was fully poking his head down to look at this scene. Seeing that he had secured all of our attention, Ryan gave us a huge wink and proceeded to make out with the hot babe he thought he had scored.
When he leaned over to plant his first kiss on the lips of the poor girl, the deejay yelled a warning into the mike and the rest of us shouted in unison, “RYAN! NOOOOOO!”
He thought we were just cheering him on…and continued anyway.
The next day he confessed he was so slobbered he had assumed he was dancing with two girls at once! Secretly we thought it served him right for being this shallow. Fat? Thin? Bah!