Well I’m not, so it’s easy to describe what the crowd considered here as cool is like.
Checkout if you belong there:
1. Be depressed even if you’re not; put on The face
2. Wear either very expensive or “bum” looking clothes, if possible in black to match your moods.
3. Keep your hair on… anyway, you’ll want it, but try to be at least a bit different. No bottle blondes here (unless you’re a guy).
4. Watch and like (or say so… who says u really have to?) French, Spanish or Swedish movies.
5. Listen to music you know, therefore not commercial. Nobody will know what u on about… now that’s cool.
6. Never ever be seen with Cosmo, Maxim… and u name it magazines, no funny books either!
7. Carry around Hrabal, Kafka, Kundera, Dostojevskij… in a way so everyone sees the cover (Shakespeare isn’t IT- you want to whisper not yell I AM COOL).
8. Don’t talk too much, being quiet is strange.
9. If conversation occurs, keep quiet, and every now and then throw in some strange double meaning comments… they’ll think you’re smarter than they are.
10. Have dog or dreadlocks both to be taken with u if going out.
11. Work at cool place, if teaching English never admit so, just say you’re a poet, writer, actor… or an artist working on a project (drinking beer, scanning girls or boys).
12. Be thin and move smoothly-anything else is just totally uncool (we all’ve seen the MTV advert).
13. Do beer, wine, vodka, slivovice, and whiskey; absinthe is for tourist and anything else is for losers.
14. Do PROTEST! ! !
15. Don’t be an American, and if so, put on a Canadian accent or flag
16. And if u are American and don’t have the necessary backpack-flag deal, then just pretend you’re one of the lost generation.
17. Be Irish-everyone loves drunks (hey Paul, how’re you doing?)
18. Or Scot, Aussie, Kiwi… nobody will understand u = nobody will bother u.
19. If any other nationality… good for u, pretend to be anybody u want be and enjoy it… as there are loads of wannabes around anyway, so you’ll fit in.
PS: If anybody gets offended just take it easy and take care and be good in the new year…