So everyday you hope to meet the perfect dating woman. The woman who you have been dreaming about. But in reality, you are getting no where. This must be telling on your psyche…where is my Queen of Romance?…this must be my bad luck …do they happen only in movies or to someone else? Stop feeling so lost and hopeless.
The truth of the matter is that while it has nothing to do with your luck, good or bad, but everything to do with you! Like most people, you probably have embarked upon this dating game with your eyes closed. You got so caught up in this whole exercise of dating that you forgot to look for the qualities you seek! If you have failed to meet the person of your dreams, and feeling frustrated about it, stop and think.
Think again. Where did you go wrong? If you carefully do an analysis, you might be surprised. You are confident that she could not give you what you wanted. But what was it that you wanted in the first place? Once you are sure of what you want, you will know exactly what to look for in your woman. What are the qualities that you feel are necessary in a person? What are the attributes you are willing to make a compromise on? Have you thought about all these?
Once you realize your own needs and desires and are clear about it, it will help you chalking out a clear cut relationship and you will not remain in the “dating” game forever. It is imperative that you assess your own scores, your own satisfaction or dissatisfaction levels and come to a crucial decision of either continuing or discontinuing the relationship! Don’t get stuck with someone who offers something you are not strictly keen on. A lot of people make this error of going on and on, mistaking a casual liaison for a serious and romantic rendezvous. The do it for the fear of hurting a person.
There is nothing permanent or romantic between you both anyway. So don’t you think it is better to stop something unsavory before it gets too complicated? You can make that important exit without being rude, dramatic or even callous. Do not date for the sake of dating alone. And you can not always be the Good Samaritan and prevent hurt and disappointment in others. If this sounds too official, then please be aware that this is the way the world moves. In short, when you first know a person, keep the exit door open.
Which automatically takes us to the next important issue. It’s alright to impress your date with your personality etc, but it’s not the end all and be all of dating. Don’t get over-bothered about what your date will think about you, its time to start thinking, what you are looking for from the date. Seek your own purpose before you worry your head off thinking what impression you will create.
Remember, however hard you try to impress others, you cannot control their thought processes. Instead, it’s far better to concentrate on your needs and desires, and how much of it is getting fulfilled. Look at you date carefully. Do you like what you see? Does her personality appeal to you? What are the topics she likes discussing, what are her general likes and dislikes? Are you vibing well? Does her intellect match yours? It’s critical for you as you are the one who is seeking to meet Ms. Right. Remember? Forget what others think of you, you can’t control it anyway.
The sheer thought of remaining “unattached” makes you do many things which in the long run do not work well for you. It clouds your own sense of judgment and makes you linger with a person you are not totally happy with. You start blaming yourself of being too finicky, and think being with somebody is better than being with nobody. Firstly, you have to get out of this fear psychosis.
By being candid about your wants may not make you a very popular person, but definitely your honesty will give a clear signal to your date about what you are looking for. This may frighten away many partners, but look at it this way – if they are so faint-hearted of your needs right at the beginning, may be they were not looking for the same things as you. This spares you of continuing a useless and time-consuming relationship and helps you to move on to greener pastures and date someone more worthwhile.
From the time you are ready to face the real world and be genuine to yourself, you will soon find that you are out of most useless relationships and land up being happier. You stay clean and clear from giving out wrong signals, and most importantly stop feeling low and demeaned about your self. If you take your ambition of meeting Ms. Perfect with all earnestness, then you will remain motivated and enthused during the whole exercise, till you meet her and embark on a relationship that you dreamt of happening only in movies. Something that you will treasure, something you so well worked for and got.
Joshua Goh is dating & relationship expert. His desire is to motivate and support single men, women and couples to overcome the obstacles preventing them from attaining the loving relationships and lives they really want. For more information please visit our site for up-to-date dating services reviews and practical online dating tips & ideas.